Ask Cafe Darkness!

We have been most delinquent in answering the questions of our readers.  Please accept our deepest apologies as it the time of the month to reach into our second hand mailbag and drop truth bombs. 

Dear Café Darkness,

Recently I got kicked out of a strip club for being too disorderly. What could I have done differently?

 Sincerely,

 

Missing the Pop n Lock in Southside

Dear Pop n Lock,

We understand that sometimes seeing boobies in person gets the fellas so excited they just can’t contain themselves.  If you ever find yourself getting too out of control by all of the boobs and daddy issues and simulated sex acts simply make it rain.  Loudly.  You can pretty much do whatever you what-including spitting your drink all over the stripper’s face-as long as you compensate her for the cost of dry cleaning.

 Sincerely yours,

 

The CD

 

 

 

Dear Café Darkness,

What makes you guys experts on anything?  I think you’re full of it. 

 Angrily,

 

You’re Not Funny at all in the Fan

 

Dear Sometimes I feel Funny “down there” when I watch American Idol,

We don’t claim to be experts on anything except which bar has the best woo-woos and where we can smoke like ladies in the RVA.  We’re currently getting certified in How to Dress Like Hobos, but we won’t have that completed until the Spring.  Please direct any medical questions to your primary care physician.  We can not diagnose STDs over the internets. 

With love always,

 

The CD

 

Do you have a question you would like to us to answer?  Hit us up at cafedarkness@gmail.com!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Ask Cafe Darkness!

  1. Dear Café Darkness,

    Is it wrong to bite a stripper in a nightclub? (Especially when you where drunk & got charged double {figured it out next morning})

    Thanks,

    1. Nope. You’re good. You paid it forward by paying double. My only advice is to check your tab more closely before you sign it! Times are tight these days.

      xoxo,

      TLW

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s