Mr. Barista’s latest food obsession is a foot-long tuna sub with black olives, banana peppers and oil and vinegar from any Subway establishment. How Mr. Barista is able to choke down this concoction without having fire water run out of his ass is a mystery wrapped in a riddle too difficult for this journalist to solve.
During yesterday’s Subway visit Mr. Barista decided to modify his shitastic sandwich (which this journalist will never order for him again! the shame of it!) by moving to the new flat bread, in a foot-long portion. Jeff the Subway Sandwich Artist prepared an ewww are you for serious tuna delight for Mr. Barista. Mr. B noticed that the sandwich appeared to be missing six inches of holy shit that’s gross man tuna. Jeff calmly explained that Mr. B wanted a flat bread sandwich which only comes in one size like didn’t you see the picture, dude?
Mr. Barista confirmed that he did see the picture, but the corresponding sign says choose your size thereby leading him to believe in the possibility of the foot-long flat bread sandwich. Mr. Barista asked Jeff to prepare him a second omg I wouldn’t feed that to the neighbor’s dog tuna sandwich.
Jeff complied and crafted another my eyes are stinging flat bread tuna sandwich. He then asked Mr. Barista if he would enjoy a combo, which commonly consists of a fountain beverage and a choice of side including a healthy side like preserved apples. Mr. Barista eagerly agreed to the combo to wash down the flavor of the cat litter tuna.
Jeff charged Mr. Barista for two combo meals. Mr. Barista finally lost his patience and asked Jeff what was wrong with him? Did he see two people or just one?
Jeff also lost his patience and then as any good man would, got uppity. He lectured Mr. Barista for serveral minutes that the word combo is both singular and plural and that he meant it in the plural sense as Mr. Barista ordered two sandwiches because for the love of Pete there is NO such thing as a foot-long flatbread sandwich!
After a tense moment, Jeff, being a professional sandwich artist, refunded Mr. Barista for the unnecessary combo meal.
Mr. Barista, sulking, proceeded to glare at a fat kid for staring at his iTouch as he played black jack and ate his putrid lunch.