RICHMOND, VA-Recent heavy rains caused the James River to breech its shores today causing flooding in many low lying areas. An unexpected and disturbing side effect of Mother Nature’s never ending wrath is the validation of an all too common men’s fashion mistake-the high water pant.
Local blog author TLW and vocal critic of the high water pant released a statement saying that while she understands there may be puddles of water in and around downtown Richmond, pants that hit above the shoe are never the solution. “Perhaps” she suggested, “just walk around the standing water instead of wearing pants that make my rods and cones burn.” Conversely, the local chapter of The Pants Too Short Association (PTSA) celebrated the heavy rains. “At last we finally have a reason for showing our ankles”, they said when reached my telephone earlier today. “We are rejoiced to allow the lower portion of our leg feel the warmth of sun and a nice breeze while, at the same time, keeping our pants free from errant water droplets.”
Weather forecasts call for more precipitation by the weekend which will surely cause flooding, and hence high water pants to be donned once more. “Fucking, fantastic”, said TLW. “Not only will this ruin my weekend plans but now I’ll have to see even more god damn douche bag’s gross socks. Wake me up when it’s Spring”.