RICHMOND, VA-Short Pump resident Hubert Humphrey experienced a life altering awakening after watching the classic movie Groundhog Day today. The 54 year old Accounts Receivable Manager and divorced father of three decided the 1993 comedy staring Bill Murray was a fitting movie choice considering today is, in fact, Groundhog Day. “I thought it would be a nice treat after a long day at the office”, Mr. Humphrey explained to reporters earlier while drinking his fifth Mega Margarita at his neighborhood TGI Fridays. “But instead of laughing at Murray’s dry humor and wit it reminded me of the drudgery of my own life”.
In between mouthfuls of jalapeno poppers and zesty artichoke dip Mr. Humphrey further elaborated that watching the character of Phil Connors live the same day over and over forced him to realize that his own life is filled with repetitive tasks such as walking his 13 year old arthritic dog Smokey, rush hour traffic and eating Hungry Man frozen dinners each night.
He decided then and there that he would make bold and sweeping changes including going to TGI Fridays “at least” once a week and taking back up his old hobby of building tiny replica ships in bottles. “I’m ready to start living my life to its fullest” the balding middle manager decreed. At press time Mr. Humphrey was in an MSG and tequila induced coma while flipping between America’s Funniest Home Videos and American Idol.