On Friday night I had the pleasure of meeting a man who went by the name of Big Daddy. For serious. Big Daddy is an older gentleman and a frequent patron of a local watering hole here in the RVA. Besides being able to one sip Miller High Life like it’s going out of style Big Daddy may be my new bestie (Sorry B!). Although extremely intoxicated to the point of taking a few “cat naps” at the bar he gave me these little gems that I will keep forever in my heart:
“Dayum girl you have a fine ass!”
“You so tiny it’s like God made you and said, ‘nah she’s good enough as she is. No need to make her any bigger’. Boom!”
“Are there two of you? Big Daddy could handle two of you.”
“If I was your man there’s no way in hayell I’d let you out alone on a Friday night. You too dayum fine!”
“Did I say you had a fine ass?”
I heart him. I’m going to start taking Big Daddy with me everywhere to make me feel real pretty like. We’re going to fun things like pillow fights, makeovers and gab sessions. Fair warning to all potential bitches trying to get with Big Daddy: Don’t mess with my man, y’all. Hold my hoops-I’ll cut a bitch if I have to!