Top 5 Things I Don’t Care About!

 

Booooooooooring!

1-The Olympics.  I’m a bad American.  I don’t care about the Olympics. My rods and cones were inadvertently burned on Friday night when I happened to see a few moments of the Opening Ceremonies. The image of a man skating across computer enhanced blades of grass will be forever seared in my memory.  Or at least I think that’s what that was-I was pretty drunk at the time but I do remember retching and screaming, “That’s so gross!” over and over again. Damn those woo woos.  

2-The final season of Lost. I won’t lie, I watched the first few seasons of Lost.  I got into it and I’m not above admitting that. But honestly you guys, you still give a shit about those fuckers on the island? Future, past, dead, not dead. I’m ovah it.  I do have one request though; if they tell us what the hell that polar bear was doing in Season 1 could you let me know?  It’s been bugging me for years. Thanks! 

3-Rest Stops.  I’m glad rest stops are more important to Bob McDonnell than children eating breakfast.  It’s all about priorities in this administration and clearly being able to take a leak off 64 is at the top of the list.  Good to know.  

4-Winter.  That’s right. I no longer care about winter. I think that if we all stop talking about it maybe it will go away. We’ve given winter too much attention recently and THAT’S why it won’t leave our lives. You know when you accidentally chat it up with some douche bag at a party and he latches on to you for the rest of the night?  It’s like that.  So, let’s all ignore it much like a Ginger at the end of the bar and hopefully it will get its tab soon and leave.  

5-Car inspections.  My car is due for inspection this month and my tires are balder than a 35-year-old guy’s head. (Oh hai male pattern baldness!).  My car is going to fail like woah and because I work for a company that doesn’t believe in giving people raises ever, I won’t be able to afford to replace them.  Henceforth, I don’t give a rip if it passes or fails. Either way I’m not fixing shit on it so it’s all the same to me.  If anyone has any tips and tricks for learning the GRTC public transit system, hit a sister up!

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9 thoughts on “Top 5 Things I Don’t Care About!

  1. haha love it, i am boycotting the olympics too, over itttttttttttttttttt…. but for real, fix your tires, mine were just slightly bald which i hadn’t realized and i hydroplaned crashing straight on into the I-195 overpass in the rain a few months back… not fun, not fun at all. new car = way more expensive than new tires, trust.

  2. I wouldn’t be so hard on Bob. He’s a good Christian man. Im so glad that evil Tim Kane is gone. He was a sneaky snake. And.. I don’t know anyone who watches the Winter Olympics.

  3. After reading the first two, I was going to write a strongly worded email to you which would inform you of your complete jackassery and the whole polar bear/Dharma animal testing thing.
    However, you pulled it back together for 3 – 5, cementing my place as a loyal CD reader.

    But, just so you know – from Lostpedia: Polar bears were brought to the Island by the DHARMA Initiative, who held them in cages at the Hydra station. Text on the blast door map suggests that DHARMA Initiative researchers were attempting to genetically modify the polar bears to allow them to survive warmer climates. At least some of the polar bears survived the Purge, after which they were freed from their cages and swam to the main Island. After the crash of Oceanic Flight 815 in 2004, survivors of the crash occasionally encountered and were threatened by the bears, and Charlotte Lewis discovered the skeleton of a DHARMA Initiative polar bear in Tunisia that same year.

    1. Thank you, Matt for that explanation. It makes perfect sense now. Side note: Any show that requires it’s own Encyclopedia is a bit much, no?

      1. TLW-
        the secret to Lost is watching the whole thing all at once when you are hung over and don’t feel like getting off the couch. then you can actually keep up. kind of like when you guys watched ‘the stand’ all day long back in the day. don’t give up on those lovable lost characters!
        thanks!
        -joce

  4. This is the first list I’ve ever seen on any Richmond blog (regardless of subject) that does not mention Ukrop’s. I don’t think you ladies actually live in Richmond. I suspect you are Yankee spies blogging from somewhere “up north”. I haven’t divined your true agenda… YET!

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