Something Significant May or May Not Happen Next Week

 

Flying Monkeys Class of 1990

According to the Richmond Times-Dispatch, Virginians can expect or not expect  a significant snowfall next week.  The report says the storm could be “pretty significant” or it could head out to sea making it “not significant” in Virginia but still pretty significant for Virginians who live on boats out at sea.

A massive, state-wide blackout could be fairly disruptive to a number of Virginians for a few days, but if the black-out does not happen life will be kind of normal for most of the state except for residents who generally do not experience a sense of normalcy.

The city of Richmond may or may not issue you a parking ticket next week, which has the potential to make or prevent you from using foul language in front of small children.   This story might warrant further investigation especially if no parking tickets are issued when you clearly park in a loading zone between 8 am – 1 pm on Wednesday.

Del. Robert G. Marshall is likely to draw offensive conclusions about abortion and claim his idiotic ramblings were taken out of context by a bunch of hipster VCU students again.  However he is considering changing tactics and blaming his bad press on those pesky students at the University of Richmond.   A consultation with Cafe Darkness’s Magic 8 Ball reveals there is “not a chance” Marshall will cease to be a jackass next week, giving Richmonders the comfort of one certainty in this crazy little town.

Other pretty significant events that may or may not happen about town next week include a reception honoring flying monkeys at Three Monkeys, asteroids crashing into Starlight and the ghost of Helen Keller kicking it during happy hour at Helen’s.  Overall there’s a pretty good chance of big fun on Robinson Street in the days ahead.

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Posted in rtd

4 thoughts on “Something Significant May or May Not Happen Next Week

  1. It’s all part of a conspiracy to send Ukrops out with a bang. Not the Del. Marshall thing though. He’s just insane.

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