We’ve received not one numerous emails begging us to give you T Saur update. Back by popular demand behold the man, the myth, the legend:
Even though he can’t pronounce any of them nor does he drink them, T has taken up a hobby of collecting wine. I know, right? He has, in his own words, “A bottle of everything.” When I asked how that was possible he told me that he had, “you know, some red, some white and some of those in-betweens.” Semi fist pumps to T for the inadvertent It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia reference!
He’s dating like whoa. Watch out ladies of RVA because T is on overdrive. At my advice he is now DIRECTLY APPROACHING ALL AVAILABLE WOMEN AND ASKING FOR THEIR PHONE NUMBER. You are welcome! I just felt like fucking with people-that’s why I did that. Sorry, bad month.
He still smells like mossy pennies dunked in battery acid.
To “pull more digits” as he calls it, he’s thinking about getting a dog. I recommended a really high energy breed, like a border collie. You know boarder collies will literally go crazy if they don’t get enough exercise and stimulation? LOL!
Since we are both single now he suggested we have a competition to see who could the most dates in one week. (Gross.) He thought we could get a score card and hang it outside of our cubes. (Even grosser.) I told him I would absolutely not under any circumstances do that because I would feel really bad making him feel like a complete and total loser. He hasn’t brought it up since. (Rad.)
There you have it, folks. I’ll be sure to update y’all post haste if he gets a girlfriend, stops smelling so bad, can manage to sit the fuck down for more than two seconds at a time or actually forms a coherent sentence.