He’s a Ladies Man!

Also a douchebag

We’ve received not one numerous emails begging us to give you T Saur update.  Back by popular demand behold the man, the myth, the legend: 

Even though he can’t pronounce any of them nor does he drink them, T has taken up a hobby of collecting wine.  I know, right?  He has, in his own words, “A bottle of everything.”  When I asked how that was possible he told me that he had, “you know, some red, some white and some of those in-betweens.” Semi fist pumps to T for the inadvertent It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia reference! 

He’s dating  like whoa. Watch out ladies of RVA because T is on overdrive. At my advice he is now DIRECTLY APPROACHING ALL AVAILABLE WOMEN AND ASKING FOR THEIR PHONE NUMBER. You are welcome! I just felt like fucking with people-that’s why I did that.  Sorry, bad month.

He still smells like mossy pennies dunked in battery acid.

To “pull more digits” as he calls it, he’s thinking about getting a dog.  I recommended a really high energy breed, like a border collie. You know boarder collies will literally go crazy if they don’t get enough exercise and stimulation? LOL!   

Since we are both single now he suggested we have a competition to see who could the most dates in one week. (Gross.)  He thought we could get a score card and hang it outside of our cubes.  (Even grosser.)  I told him I would absolutely not under any circumstances do that because I would feel really bad making him feel like a complete and total loser.  He hasn’t brought it up since.  (Rad.) 

There you have it, folks. I’ll be sure to update y’all post haste if he gets a girlfriend, stops smelling so bad, can manage to sit the fuck down for more than two seconds at a time or actually forms a coherent sentence.


4 thoughts on “He’s a Ladies Man!

  1. As much as you can’t stand ol’ Mossy Penny, he can pull the digi’s like an ATM. Whether or not he converts these digi’s into sex is another question. A question that myself and your readers want answered.

    1. I’m actually 99% certain I’m aware of the last time T made the sexy but I don’t know if I can bring myself to actually write about it. (may puke/am hungover). Let’s just say it was a couple of seasons ago (last summer). Since I’m H to the Izzo maybe I’ll ask him to confirm.

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