RICHMOND, VA. In light of recent events occurring in and around the Commonwealth, Virginia’s Homosexual Alliance (VHA) released a press statement yesterday asking everyone to, “please leave us the hell alone.” Last week’s visit from Westboro Baptist Church coupled with Attorney General Ken Cuncinelli’s refusal to include language in the state’s anti-discrimination policies baring discrimination based on sexual orientation was the breaking point for the state’s gay, lesbian and transgendered organization.
Speaking from his Fan home, VHA spokesman Ed Smith reiterated the organization’s previous pleas to be left the fuck alone for one god damn second. “We implore you to please go back to your own mind-numbingly boring lives. We do not care that you make a day out of going to Bed, Bath and Beyond and eat at Applebee’s even though it’s really, really gross. Why do you care who we make the sexy with?” In an attempt to show how he, and every other Virginia LGBT citizen could give a rat’s ass about their lives he stated that one time when en route from Richmond to DC he even went so far as to stop at a Cracker Barrel because he was, “super hungry and it looked like everything else was closed.” “It was a fine meal”, he added.
Although the group’s statement specifically asks for everyone to focus on their own shortcomings for the love of Baby Jesus instead of finding fault with everyone else who may be just a little bit different from themselves thus forcing them to question their own life choices, researchers believe that people minding their own business will not stop any time soon.