Wanted: Single Male who enjoys the simpler things in life such as boozing too much on school nights, impromptu dance parties, bad reality television and having adventures on foot or bicycle. Potential applicants must have extensive knowledge about beatin’ the beat, shenanigans and irony. Skullduggery and emotional unavailability is a plus, but not required. Republicans, religious zealots and baby daddies need not apply.
The deadline for this application is Friday, March 26th. Interested candidates may forward their resume and headshot to firstname.lastname@example.org. NO PHONE CALLS, PLEASE!
TLW is an equal opportunity employer and applicants of all races are encouraged to apply.