I can not tell a lie!

Recently I revealed I am marrying Jesus and would no longer make sexy for an undetermined amount of time.  The guilt of this lie has been nagging me day and night and it’s time for me to come clean!  For the past month I’ve been the exact opposite of chaste and pure.  It’s a steamy and intense relationship and one to not soon be forgotten.  Who is the unlucky lucky fellow you wonder? Well, his identity is the reason I’ve been keeping this such a close guarded secret because it is none other than Steal Your Soul, Inc.’s very own man about town: T Saur.  DO WHA?!?!

Now, I know what you all may be thinking, “But I thought he was hideously unattractive, wore ill-fitted clothes and smelled funny?” and to respond to that question yes, you are correct on all accounts.  However, the animal magnetism between us can not be denied and I want to shout it from the mountain tops that I’m in love!  How it happened is still not clear to me as I was under a drunken delirium due to drinking for hours in a Fan watering hole, but one thing is clear, this is an affair to remember and I no longer want to hide my new man from RVA. If y’all see us making out in da club, holler. Loudly.  Also, bitches better step off because I don’t take too kindly to trifflin’ hos messing with my property.  Peace out!

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5 thoughts on “I can not tell a lie!

  1. nevermind. feel free to delete if you want. i didn’t know what today was until just now when i saw the google annual prank. good one. i’m a dork.

  2. I’m glad it’s not true. I can’t imagine you lowering your standards to someone that smells like old pennies–I don’t even LIKE touching pennies because of the smell. blech.

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