In case you haven’t heard, Easter weekend is a big fucking deal to those crazy Christians. Easter egg hunts, pastel dresses and ham biscuits, OH MY! Never one to go with the flow, I prefer to celebrate your Savior’s second coming by drinking too much Jesus Juice and all around tomfoolery. This weekend was no exception. Behold the highlights of my weekend:
1-T Saur is pissed at me. Technically this did not occur over the weekend but I’m throwing it in there anyway. I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve this treat but he hasn’t spoken to me in over a week. Squee! Did he stumble upon Café Darkness? Not likely as he wouldn’t even be able to tell you what Twitter was, let alone a blog. I mean he has a yahoo email account for crying out loud. I’m placing my bets that one of my coworkers, Mrs. McNasty as I call her, told him about my shittalkery. Mrs. McNasty hates everything in life and will jump on any opportunity to make people around here just as miserable as she is. I’m sending McNasty a bouquet of flowers, btw.
2-Day drinking on a school day. There is something particularly delicious about day drinking when you should be at work on a gorgeous spring day. The unfortunate side effect is when you show up to a 7 pm cookout super ham boned. Sorry about that, y’all. Next time I’ll make sure I don’t have a 7 hour pre game before the party. I think I had a blast, though!
3-Riding the Unicorn. This magical phenomenon occurs when one dodges a Huricane Katrina sized hangover. Both Barista and I woke up feeling right as rain after our Friday Funday debauchery. I think the entire Chanello’s pizza I consumed at one AM probably had a lot to do with it. Extra Ranch dressing, FTW!
4-Slaughterama. Three words to describe this event: What. The. Fuck. Honestly, what the hell was that? Way to step it up, RVA. Jesus Christ.
5-Public making out. Nothing like a little making out out-of-doors to confirm it’s spring time. And that is all I have to say about that.