RICHMOND, VA-Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell announced plans to transport every single Virginia resident back to 1861, the year Virginia seceded from the Union to form the Confederate States of America.
The Governor reached his decision after watching the popular Hot Tub Time Machine, a movie about a group of friends who become intoxicated in a hot tub and wake up in the morning to find themselves in the year 1986. “If John Cusack can travel to 1986 then I see no reason why every citizen of the Commonwealth of Virginia can not be transported to 1861”, he declared from the steps of the Capitol earlier today. “1861 was the most wonderful year in the history of our great state when the leading cause of death among women was childbirth and people made their own soap”. “Oh, and slavery was still legal, too” he added.
Despite Ken Cuccinelli’s efforts to, “leave the gays in 2010”, the Governor assured Virginia’s gay community that there were also, “in it to win it” since homosexuality did not exist in 1861.