It’s Friday and I’m pretty much the only person here at Steal Your Soul, Inc besides TSaur. You know his ass his here. He never takes a day off, even when he’s not getting paid for them! Nothing like a little old fashioned volunteering for a Corporation that hates you. But I digress.
Barista is on her way to Atlantic City and will be sipping a woo woo sooner rather than later while I sit here hating life. As such, I’m phoning in today’s post and serving up a big ole slice of How You Crazies End Up Finding the CD Pie. Seriously, it gets weirder and weirder.
Why are women over 30 so bitter? I dunno, maybe because we’ve been putting up with people’s bullshit for thirty years and we’re sick of it? Just a guess though, so don’t hold me to it.
Jesus, do you love me? No, he clearly does not love you if you are Googling, “Jesus, do you love me?” You fail at life. Goodbye.
Nude amoeba pics Seriously? I’m not sure what kind of sick shit this person is into but nude amoeba pictures? That’s too much, even for me.
Virginia Hot Tub Time Machine Did my little ditty about Bobby McD start, like, a thing? Kinda like how all the celebs are claiming to be celibate just like me recently ?! (Read nothing into the word “claim”, please.) Can I start getting credit for my shit? Goddamn!
My neighbor is crazy and I hate her It’s hard living in your parent’s basement. Sometimes parents just don’t understand!
What to say when I call 911 and there’s a fire? If I ever doubted natural selection, it would be because of this question right here. I have a feeling that whatever moron Googled this proudly displays Sarah Palin’s book on their coffee table. Just a guess though as I (hopefully) don’t know anyone dumb enough to Google this question.