Oh hai, Wednesday! What’s shakin’ you sexy bitch? I suppose if you want to get technical on my ass it’s Tuesday night, but none of you will read this until tomorrow and TLW has a dentist appointment in the AM, aight?! Enough with the pleasantries. Let’s get on to some random haps, shall we?
TSaur found a new girlfriend! How does he always have a steady stream of ladies interested in dating his stank ass? Honestly, I’m about to just throw in the towel entirely. He’s getting action on the regs and I can’t trick some guy into buying me dinner on a Friday night? Ridic. He went on a “fitness date” with new lady on Monday and a coworker of mine spotted him running in Forest Hill Park. (Gross!) True to form he dressed as a douche EVEN WHEN RUNNING, which is impressive. Instead of regular running shoes he wears these:
Right. Moving on.
Too many people are down with the power of the horn these days. Unis are becoming a bit too mainstream for my tastes. It’s time to move onto a new fantastical creature. Up for the running are:
Medusa. (Dirty slut!)
Sirens (Dudes run into rocks then they hear their sweet beats!):
Harpies. (They steal food! Mostly from guys! Ha!)
Last week I was in the CVS near my crib when this crazy man comes up to me and asks me how my dogs were doing. I didn’t recognize him as Crazy Neighbor at first. He’s lost a lot of weight and grown his hair out a bit. Actually he looks a lot like this guy:
Anywhoos, I say they’re fine, all is well, blah blah blah. Then he asks me why, “I changed my identity?” I asked him what he meant and he said that my hair was a different color and was I trying to be someone else? I laughed and said no, I wasn’t running from the Feds or anything like that, just changing things up. Then he told me women can easily change their identities, but it’s harder for men. After that he called me “his pretty girl” and walked away. If I end up missing, point Nancy Drew in the direction of this guy, please?