Helpful Hints from the Desk of Barista

DO:  Cut the head’s off pictures of friends and paste them onto the bodies of centaurs

DO:  Respond to emails only with Glory be!  Examples – Can you send me a copy of that affidavit?  Glory be!   Hey, it’s 3:10.  You’re late for our meeting.  Glory be!  Here’s a PowerPoint I created for your review.  Glory be!  Wanna smoke?  Glory be!

DO:  Spend all day reading about Sandra Bullock’s baby.  When confronted about how much time you’ve spent on the internets, call your accuser an insensitive WASP.

DO:  Wear tube socks pulled all the way up with WNBA basketball shorts.  Sike!  Just laugh at the woman you see dressed that way.

DON’T:  Be productive.

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2 thoughts on “Helpful Hints from the Desk of Barista

  1. Oh, and FTR: Tube Sock and WNBA Basketball Short Lady shocked Barista so much it made her lick the revolving door. Which is gross. So Barista, you are gross.

    1. I didn’t lick the door. I gently rubbed my nose against the cool glass. Those socks and spider veins had me in a frenzy!

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