I hate when I actually have to work at work. Normally I can get away with the bare minimum (read maybe an hour a day) but lately shit’s been bananas and I’ve barely had a hot second to do what I do best: write awesome self-deprecating blog posts about my life that make most of you happy that you’re not me! Just to tide y’all over until I have more free time here’s the short list of the highlights of my weekend:
Friday: I cleaned my disgusting hovel of an apartment from ten in the morning until one in the afternoon. Thoroughly impressed with my responsible actions I treat myself to a nap and a happy hour at Legend’s which turned into drinks at Havana which turned into even more drinks at Sidewalk. I think I high fived people? Fun times.
Saturday: I woke up still drunk and met my mom for some classy art gallery stuff (don’t worry about it) and then lunch. The booze began to wear off as soon we were seated and I went from being mildy punch to cold sweating. Sensing the urgency of the situation, mom orders me a Bloody Mary straight away and orders me to drink it post haste. The apple doesn’t fall far the tree, ifyouknowwhatimsayin. I comply and treat myself to another nap after lunch. Saturday evening arrives and it’s time for some wine with the ladies which later turns into whiskey with a different group of ladies. Gross. I need to stop drinking whiskey on the rocks straight away.
Sunday: I briefly wake up around 10:00 to walk the boys. I even drink a cup of coffee and fool myself for a hot second that I’m going to get up and be productive. Ten minutes later I retire back to the bed where I don’t rise again until 1:30. I do some light fitness to (unsuccessfully) get back to good, but it’s not until my second glass of wine at The Republic when I start to feel normal again. Sunday Funday, FTW!
So there you have it folks, my weekend in review. Sorry it’s not more detailed, but just you wait. Soon I’ll be back on my A game of working the bare minimum to not get fired!