What Oil Spill?

Oh nos! What happened to you lil bird?

I have been remiss updating y’all about the comings and goings of TSaur and for that, I apologize. So here’s your T update. You’re welcome. Oh, and gross.

Even though it’s summertime in the city he still smells like mossy pennies dipped in battery acid which debunked my current hypothesis that the Smell of the Union was perchance caused by storing winter clothes near moth balls from the Civil War. Now all I can deduce is that it’s just the natural stench of someone in a constant state of dehydration (he drinks water never) combined with a high fructose corn syrup diet.  

He never ceases to amaze me with his complete ignorance of current events. I’ll give him not knowing about more “worldly” events (but not really because c’mon it’s news) like Helen Thomas not liking Jewish people or the recent violence with Israel and Palestine.  But, in my humble opinion unless you’re in a medically induced coma, you should know what the fuck is going on with the BP oil spill. I mean, hai, it’s a shitstorm. Anywhoos, so I was going off on my daily tangent (I have to allow myself just ten minutes per day to read about it, look at pictures and then freak out, otherwise I’ll throw a clot) when T asks me what company is responsible for the spill?  At which point I said, “Uh….Seriously? BP!” Not dialing up the stupid quite high enough he then inquired if BP was an American company and what we were going to do? It took everything in me to not go completely American Psycho on his ass. I somehow dug deep and managed to squeak out “BRITISH PETROLEUM! AND WE’RE ALL FUUUUCKED” before going back to my desk and looking at pictures of unicorns so as to not completely lose control.

As far as T’s love life, he’s got himself a new gf which pisses me off beyond belief. It’s just not fair that T’s getting the sexy on the regs and I’m not. WTF is wrong with this picture?! It’s just not fair!  I stalked the new gf on facespace (loveeeeee doing that) and she’s not horrendously unattractive as one might assume therefore she must be batshit crazy. End of discussion.


3 thoughts on “What Oil Spill?

  1. I just wrote my little bit about the oil spill today, too. Maybe you should dump Barista, and we could be besties?!? If you’re inclined to roll to Bawlmer, that is. 🙂

    1. I could never dump B as a bestie. I make her LOL too much. Plus also, she just told me I’m awesome. You can also be my bestie, though! Yeah!

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