MIDLOTHIAN, VA-NBC12 Chief Meteorologist Jim Duncan announced plans yesterday to take a leave of absence from his position until mid-September. The long-time veteran meteorologist expressed dismay and sorrow at the lack of, “anything exciting happening weather wise in the next two to three months.” When pressed by reporters to explain his plan to just “kick back and relax” until early fall, Duncan laughed maniacally and told reporters to, “just step outside for a god damn second. You feel that? It’s fucking hot. And humid. Right. Rinse and repeat for the next three months.”
Some speculate Duncan is coming down from the high the past winter brought, which was filled with numerous snow storms, breaking into regular programming, using his favorite “snow tracker” and most importantly, regularly updating his weather blog with potential future winter weather. “I was getting so many hits on my blog and comments like woah and now no one even checks it”, he said in between spoonfuls of raw cookie dough.
Inside sources say that ever since the early summer highs of straight 90’s hit in June, Duncan has become increasingly more depressed and agitated. When asked by a friend if it was going to rain over the weekend he monotonously replied, “30% chance of late afternoon showers. It’s always a 30% chance of late afternoon showers. Who even cares anymore?”
Those close to the meteorologist cautiously hope for at least a small Tropical depression to hit the Central Virginia region in the near future to get him back in the game, but still remember the deep depression Duncan fell into following the aftermath of 2003’s Hurricane Isabel when he threatened to quit, “this weather game” once and for all.