It’s been a minute since I served up some Wednesday Random Chicken Soup for the Soulless, so why the hell not today? Respect.
Guess who took a day off today?!?! TSaur! WTF, mate? A fortunate side effect of T dating his new lady (“that chick” he calls her) is that he now takes days off. I don’t know where they’re going because I don’t care. All I care about is not having to smell him or deal with his presence buzzing behind me two trillion times/day!
I got nominated for some more stuff I have no chance of winning! Whoot! Go vote for me….or not. It’s totally up to you. All I know is if Richmond Slumlord Watch beats me again (right?), I’ll throw a clot.
I’m going through a bit of a dry spell when it comes to less fair sex. It happens from time to time and instead of feeling sorry for myself for the lack of dates/action/sex parties, I like to look on the bright side! Think of all the great things there are to being single with zero prospects. There’s no need to shave your legs every day! You don’t need to worry about your underroos matching, or even being sexy. Comfy underwear, FTW! Other great things include, but are not limited to: more quality time with your dogs, making awesome playlists that only you will listen to, eating lots of cheese and getting ready for the next season of Big Brother which you will be able to watch 24/7 because you have nothing else going on. Yeah!
The Fourth of July is this weekend and this girl has herself a four-day weekend. Holler loudly while doing roundhouse kicks of excitement. While 99% of RVA residents will head to the river/beach/sex pary, I’ll be in town keeping everything on lockdown. Why? Because I’m not rich enough to be able to go anywhere. It’s all good though because four-day weekends = four distinct opportunities for shenanigans and adventures. Maybe I’ll even go Unicorn watching!