To All the Single Ladies!


To all the single ladies of RVA, I have great news! T Saur is single and available once again. If you do recall, just three short weeks ago I regrettably informed you Richmond’s most eligible bachelor was off the market. I also predicted she would soon screw him over post-haste as she cheated on him within the first week of their relationship (HA!).  Besides that little snafu, the first two and half weeks were great! They went running together (at which point he wore his red Iverson basketball shoes-for serious)!  They went on day trips together to Luray Caverns! He even watched her guinea pigs and rabbits when she was out of town!  What fun!


Well, like all good things, it came to end.  Shit went down over Fourth of July weekend. Romeo and Juliet had themselves a dinner date on Saturday night, but when Juliet didn’t call Romeo by six, that crazy bastard stopped by her house “because he was in the area”. Turns out T’s lady love made dinner plans with another guy “friend” and figured they could just hang out later.  T waited by the phone all night to meet up with her, only to go to bed disappointed and alone.  When she called him the next day he stood his ground and told her that any didn’t appreciate being “disrespected” like that. Several text messages later, the couple was donezo. Sadsauce!


All last week T Saur was super sad and wasn’t talking to anyone (yeah!) so it wasn’t until Monday when he decided to break it down to me. If y’all recall, I had the world’s worst hangover on Monday so it was really hard for me to tolerate his stench, but ever the dedicated procurer of information, I held steady as she goes.  He explained he called her last Friday to apologize for breaking their Fourth of July plans on Monday. I about freaked the fuck out right there (partially from dehydration, partially from disbelief) and told him to hold the phone.  “You apologized for not keeping a date after you broke up?” He said, yes, he felt bad so he wanted to say he was sorry. I then explained that it’s not “breaking a date” once you’ve “broken up”. “I didn’t call and apologize to my ex husband for missing his past two birthdays, youknowwhati’msayin’?” He said he did, but I could tell from that ever-present vacant look in his eye, he did not.  I predict they’re back together within the month, so ladies, if you see T out and about in his natural habitat, holler loudly! 


UPDATE: I was just informed less than two minutes ago he was “getting back on that horse” and had “locked one down for Friday night”. Get moving, ladies! He’s ready for some action!


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