Ask Cafe Darkness!

It’s been way too long since I’ve answered your questions. I apologize. I’ve been busy obsessing about the BP oil spill, but oily pelicans are no excuse to ignore you!  Let’s get to it, shall we?

Dear Café Darkness,

 

My boyfriend and I recently broke up, but I was thinking we could still be friends. Is this a good idea?

 

Sincerely,

 

Friends in the Fan

 

No. Next question.

 

 

 

Dear Café Darkness,

 

Lately it seems every guy I meet becomes totally obsessed with me and won’t leave me alone. How do I let them know that I don’t want them to call, text, come over, stay over and be around me 24/7?

Sincerely,

Too Hot To Cool Down in Manchester

Dear Hot Stuff,

I get it. Trust me.  You brought your milkshake to the yard and boys were all, “oh hells yes” and now they won’t leave you alone. I, too, suffer a similar affliction. I call it “being awesome”. So what can you do to make sure your male suitors don’t fall in love with you?  First of all, tell them such. I make sure I dispense this bit of info on the second date. Just a simple “don’t like me” will suffice.  It won’t work, but at least you got it out there. Second, make sure you don’t answer (most of) their phone calls and texts. This will let them know they’re not a top priority in your life. Thirdly (and this is the most important one of all) after making the sexy make sure they know that you’ve had better and you’re considering not doing that with them ever again. If you follow these three simple tips, you’ll enjoy a summer of breaking hearts all over RVA! Enjoy!

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