Because I am a true, Southern lady I write thank you notes for all gifts received. Please see the letter I crafted to my employer for the kick ass paperweight I received this morning. Day = Made. Duh.
Dear Steal Your Soul, Inc.
Thank you so, so much for the paperweight you gave me this morning. I have never owned a paperweight before as I am not normally in a very windy office and it’s not 1964, so this will really come in handy when the recycled air that provides the background noise to my life really cranks it up a notch. I would be remiss to not also thank for you not giving me a raise since November 2007 and cutting my pay 6% last year whilst doubling my work load! While you may call my paperweight a “token of appreciation” I call it a symbol of all of the hard work that’s gone unrecognized and unpaid for! To be honest, the only person in this entire company who appreciated your paperweight was Tsaur who (literally) uttered the words, “sweet!” upon opening his new lovie. Even though I wish I could keep the paperweight, its new home is in my trashcan.