Today is my official two year Splitaversary! Yay! I love going for a run and then coming home and having my husband tell me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and then having to stay at my mom’s house for six weeks until I could get an apartment because my fucking asshole of an ex husband was threatening legal action if I didn’t continue to pay the mortgage in a house I wasn’t staying in! Walking around like you’ve had a full frontal lobotomy for the next two months was swell, too. I’ve also enjoyed the litany of losers I’ve had the unfortunate circumstance of dating over the past two years. Being poor is fun too, because it builds character and teaches you the value of a dollar. I’ve also learned some valuable life lessons like: I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone ever again, babies as facespace pictures weird me out and you can live off macaroni and cheese and little else and not die of cancer (yet). Sweet! Ok, gotta run. I need to check my Facespace and thank everyone who wished me a Happy Splitaversay Day and then drink a gallon of wine.