Runners Deemed Most Irritating People in the City

Super Duper Annoying

RICHMOND, VA-A recent study funded by the City of Richmond named runners the most annoying group in the Greater Richmond Metro Region.  The study, conducted over a twelve month period, looked at several groups to determine who was the most grating to the overall population.  Hipsters, Ed Hardy douche bags, West End jerk offs and Mommy bloggers were all examined.  “Heading into the study we assumed either hipsters or Mommy bloggers would be the most annoying, however it became clear early on that runners were indisputably the most nausea-inducing group”, head researcher Dr. John L. Pinkerton told reporters yesterday.  “Yes, incessantly talking about your vinyl record collection and your child’s pooping schedule does make one want to take a shotgun blast to the face, but discussing training regimes, upcoming races and how to properly fuel during a long run is enough to make one perform their own lobotomy with a dull butter knife.”  “Lord Jesus, nobody cares,” he added.  Other irritating characteristics include running in the middle in the god damn street when there’s a perfectly acceptable sidewalk, a sense of overall moral superiority and those “idiotic” 26.2 bumper stickers.

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6 thoughts on “Runners Deemed Most Irritating People in the City

    1. Well, if I’m called a hipster one more time, Imma punch a kitten. Plus also, I have a 26.2 sticker on my car that I need to remove with battery acid if need be assuming my lazy ass ever remembers. I draw on myself for lots of annoying inspiration.

  1. I’ve always thought that Richmond had a jogger problem. I proposed a short hunting season with a two-jogger limit in February, you know, just before winter ends and they start jogging in shorts again–I hate joggers with pasty legs–but City Council didn’t go for it.

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