Coachella Saves Relationship

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PopSugar

 

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ-Local lifestyle Instagram curator Ashley Blake recently returned home from Coachella, a little known music festival sponsored by Absolut., American Express, and H&M among others, with a renewed sense of commitment to her partner, Denver Schnelling.

Held most years since 1999 in Indio, California, Coachella is a unique experience for friends who plan to take Molly for four straight days until the only lasting memory of the trip is when Mike gets way too aggressive about wanting a soft pretzel before kicking over a neighboring teepee and leaving the group for good.

Blake, 24, confirms that recently she and Schnelling, also 24, had stopped communicating over the issues that matter most to them. “I’m starting to think he actually believes that Richard Simmons just decided he wants to be left alone. How can I talk to him when it’s so fucking obvious that his housekeeper has him tied up in the basement and he needs all of us to help him?”

Schnelling takes responsibility for his part, admitting that he did not notice Blake’s newest Uniglo bodysuits, saying “I used to think it was adorable when she wore the one with the blue and the green swirls, but lately I guess we don’t have as much fun as we did when we first started hooking up behind my roommate’s back.”  They agreed that a trip to Coachella would allow them time to bond and purchase a new vaporizer.

It was during Calvin Harris’ third appearance on the main stage for a surprise collaboration with Billy Ocean when Blake and Schnelling realized they wanted to get out of their own metaphorical cars and into each others dreams for the immediate future and that this new vaporizer is the tits hahahahaha.

As of press time, Blake and Schnelling have been dating for 11 weeks and plan to enroll in the same abnormal psychology class at Bergen Community College this fall.

 

 

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