Friend: Hello. I am still drunk.
Me: 4Loko is donezo.
Friend: What?
Me: They’re removing the caffeine.
Friend: What the fuck?
Friend: No.
Me: They just announced it.
Friend: Oh.
Friend: Wow.
Friend: I hate everything.
Me: Right?
Friend: Buying things now.
Me: Yes.
Friend: Ok.
Café Darkness 
makes me want to drink alchoholic beverages